I’m so heartbroken, I just lost my best friend
I just pulled the plug. D-day was a week ago. More truth has trickled out since then. Today, I found out it was not just online sexting. He slept with someone. Twice. They continued to sext afterwards.
I didn’t think I had the strength to do it, but I ended it. I blocked his number & removed him on everything.
We were together 4 years and had moved all over the country together. I truly believed in him and us with all my heart. We had so many plans. We have so many special memories. He is (was?) my absolute best friend in the entire world. I don’t know how to replace that. I don’t want to.
I feel like my entire world just collapsed in front of me. I don’t want to tell anyone. I still don’t want it to be real. He’s asked for couples therapy, offered to get an app on my phone that tracks his. I just can’t do it. I want to be able to so badly, but I can’t. He’s complicated, but somehow I still think he’s a good person despite what I told him.
How do you pick up the pieces? How do you lose your lover and your best friend all in one? I feel so betrayed, but more than anything, I just want my best friend back.
This is the worst pain I’ve felt in my entire life. I just needed to get this out. It would be easier if I hated him. Instead, I just miss who I thought he & our relationship was
edit: Thank you for all the kind words, wisdom, and support. I posted this to vent and was not expecting this response. I feel so grateful to have found this community although I am so sorry that any of you need to be here. I’m still a heartbroken mess, but after reading all these messages and comments I feel more confident that there is a path to healing. Cheers to hope. Xx