Sitting in a parking lot wondering wtf happened to the man I used to be
I’ve been 99.9% sure my wife has been doing something behind my back for the entirety of our marriage.
Things like the same phone number under different contact names in her phone to an unexplained hotel visit on her banking statement to a birthday card that I confirmed with the company was printed in our marriage years.
There’s a lot of context there that I’m glossing over but you get the general idea.
I’m so depressed and frustrated and don’t see an end because I can’t make the move.
Im too weak I guess and keep looking for excuses.
I keep telling myself that theres gonna be an aha moment where I can shove it up her ass in divorce court and it hasn’t happened.
We had a big blowup last year and she started crying and begging me to not go and I stayed. For awhile things changed but it’s now reverted back and I can’t make myself walk away.
Get Your Divorce Quote Here
This is gonna sound silly and foolish and probably cowardly but I don’t want to see her cry like that again. I don’t want to hurt her again like that. I can’t stop setting myself on fire to keep others warm and it’s killing me.
I know what I need to do but I can’t make it happen. I wish I had a time machine.
I’d go back and never even send the first message. I feel like a failure and wonder why I even go on anymore.
I just needed to post this because I’m too ashamed of myself to tell my friends and family or anyone else.
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If it violates rules I apologize.
I won’t argue about talking it down if it does. I just needed to tell someone. Thank you for allowing me to post.