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Co-Parenting After Divorce in Florida: Practical Tips for Two Homes
The divorce may eventually be finished, but when you have children together, the parenting relationship continues.
That can be one of the hardest adjustments after divorce.
You may now be coordinating school schedules, doctor’s appointments, holidays, activities, transportation and everyday parenting decisions with someone you no longer live with—and possibly someone you don’t particularly enjoy communicating with.
Successful co-parenting does not require former spouses to become friends. It means finding practical ways to keep the children out of adult conflict, exchange the information children need and make life between two homes as manageable as possible.
Here are some practical ways Florida parents can approach co-parenting after divorce.
What Does Co-Parenting After Divorce Mean?
Co-parenting generally means continuing to share parenting responsibilities after the parents’ romantic or marital relationship has ended.
In Florida, your court-approved parenting plan establishes the legal framework for things such as parental responsibility, the time-sharing schedule and other arrangements involving the children.
But a parenting plan cannot predict every sick day, forgotten backpack, delayed flight, school project or last-minute schedule change that will happen while your children are growing up.
That’s where everyday co-parenting comes in.
If you’re looking for information about the actual legal document rather than day-to-day co-parenting, read our Florida Parenting Plan Explained guide.
Keep the Children Out of Adult Conflict
One of the most important things separating or divorced parents can do is avoid placing their children in the middle of disagreements between the adults.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that parents avoid arguing in front of their children, criticizing the other parent where the child can hear it, forcing children to take sides or using children as messengers between parents.
Source: American Academy of Pediatrics – Helping Children Adjust to Divorce and Separation →
This doesn’t mean parents must agree about everything.
It means adult disagreements should remain adult disagreements whenever possible.
Communicate Directly Instead of Through the Child
“Tell your dad I’ll pick you up at six.”
“Ask your mom whether she paid for the field trip.”
“Tell your father you’re staying here this weekend.”
It may seem convenient, but putting a child in charge of carrying messages can place them directly between their parents.
Whenever reasonably possible, communicate directly with the other parent about schedules, school, medical information, activities and other parenting matters.
If conversations regularly become arguments, written communication such as email, text or an appropriate co-parenting communication tool may make it easier to keep the conversation focused on the children.
You Don’t Have to Communicate About Everything
Co-parenting doesn’t necessarily mean maintaining constant contact with your former spouse.
Focus communication on information the other parent reasonably needs concerning the children.
- School information and important events
- Medical appointments and health issues
- Extracurricular activities
- Changes affecting the time-sharing schedule
- Transportation and exchanges
- Information required by the parenting plan
Florida’s parenting laws specifically consider each parent’s ability to communicate with and keep the other parent informed about issues and activities involving the child.
Source: Florida Statute §61.13 →
Create Predictable Routines in Both Homes
Children don’t need two identical households.
Mom’s house and Dad’s house can have different traditions, meals and ways of doing things.
But predictable routines can help children know what to expect.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends maintaining children’s routines as much as possible during separation and divorce, including regular schedules for meals, chores and bedtime.
Florida’s best-interest factors also specifically consider each parent’s ability to provide a consistent routine for the child, including discipline and daily schedules for homework, meals and bedtime.
You don’t have to run identical households. The practical goal is stability, not cloning each other’s homes.
Make the Time-Sharing Schedule Easy for the Child to Understand
Adults may have the parenting plan saved in an email or sitting in a court file. Children often need something simpler.
Depending on the child’s age, a family calendar can help show:
- Which home they will be staying in
- School days
- Activities and practices
- Upcoming holidays
- Vacations
- Special events
The goal isn’t to make children responsible for managing the schedule. It’s simply to give them an age-appropriate way to understand what comes next.
Make Exchanges as Uneventful as Possible
Pickups and drop-offs can become emotionally loaded when parents are still angry with each other.
For the child, however, an exchange is simply the moment they move from one parent to the other.
Try not to turn that moment into the time to argue about money, revisit the divorce or settle another disagreement.
If there are safety concerns or a court order governing exchanges, follow the order. Florida law also contains provisions for court-ordered safe exchange locations in qualifying circumstances.
If your situation involves court-ordered supervision or safety restrictions, see our Supervised Visitation and Time-Sharing in Florida guide.
Don’t Make Your Child Choose Sides
Children can love both parents even when the parents no longer love—or even particularly like—each other.
Try not to put children in a position where showing affection for the other parent feels like betraying you.
Avoid asking children to report on the other household, carry adult messages or decide which parent is “right.”
Florida’s best-interest factors also consider each parent’s ability to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship and to protect the child from the parents’ ongoing litigation.
Reassure Children That the Divorce Was Not Their Fault
Children—especially younger children—may wonder whether something they did caused their parents to separate.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends reassuring children that the divorce is not their fault and that they cannot fix the problems between their parents.
They may need to hear that reassurance more than once.
They also need age-appropriate information about what will actually change: where they will live, when they will see each parent, whether they’ll remain at the same school and what their regular routine will look like.
Two Homes Don’t Have to Mean Two Completely Different Lives
A child may have two bedrooms, two sets of household rules and two different morning routines after divorce.
Some practical things can make moving between homes easier:
- Keep basic clothing and toiletries available at both homes when possible.
- Keep important school information accessible to both parents.
- Use a shared or clearly communicated calendar for activities.
- Try to avoid making the child repeatedly pack every basic necessity.
- Make sure favorite or comforting items can travel when appropriate.
For younger children in particular, familiar routines and belongings can make transitions between homes feel less disruptive.
Plan for Holidays Before the Holiday Arrives
Thanksgiving morning is a terrible time to discover that Mom and Dad interpreted the holiday schedule differently.
Review the parenting plan before holidays, school breaks, birthdays and vacations.
Make sure both parents understand:
- When the holiday period begins and ends
- Who is responsible for transportation
- Where the exchange occurs
- Whether regular time-sharing changes during the holiday
- Any travel arrangements that need to be communicated
Planning ahead gives parents time to resolve a misunderstanding before the child is standing at the door with a suitcase.
What If the Parents Have Very Different Rules?
Two households will rarely operate exactly the same way.
One parent may allow more screen time. One may serve dinner at 6:00 while the other eats at 7:30. Bedtime routines may be different.
Not every difference requires a battle.
Where cooperation is possible, consistency around important routines and expectations can be helpful. But co-parenting does not require either parent to control every ordinary detail of the other household.
What If We Can’t Co-Parent Without Constant Conflict?
Some former couples communicate easily after divorce. Others don’t.
If direct conversations repeatedly become arguments, reducing unnecessary interaction and using more structured communication may help keep discussions focused.
Florida law also recognizes parenting coordination, a child-focused dispute-resolution process that may be court ordered or agreed upon in qualifying parenting-plan matters. A parenting coordinator is an impartial third party whose role can include helping parents create or implement a parenting plan and facilitating the resolution of parenting disputes.
Parenting coordination is not a service provided by Divorce in Florida Online.
Source: Florida Statute §61.125 – Parenting Coordination →
When a Child Seems to Be Struggling After Divorce
Children do not all respond to divorce in the same way.
Age, development, temperament, the level of parental conflict and changes in the child’s everyday life can all affect how a child responds.
Possible reactions can include changes in mood, sleep, behavior, school performance or relationships with family and friends.
That does not mean every difficult day is a sign that something is wrong.
If you are concerned about changes in your child’s behavior or emotional well-being, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends involving the child’s pediatrician when appropriate. A pediatrician can help parents determine whether additional support or a referral may be useful.
Source: American Academy of Pediatrics – Supporting Children After Separation or Divorce →
Your Parenting Plan Is Still the Roadmap
Good co-parenting habits do not replace your Florida parenting plan.
If your parenting plan establishes a time-sharing schedule, transportation arrangements, decision-making responsibilities or other requirements, both parents should follow the court-approved plan.
Cooperation can make the plan easier to live with, but informal co-parenting practices should not be confused with changing a court order.
If you want to understand how Florida parenting plans and child support fit into the larger divorce process, see our Divorce With Children in Florida guide.
Still Preparing Your Florida Divorce?
If you and the other parent are still preparing your divorce and have reached an agreement about the parenting plan, time-sharing and other terms involving your children, Divorce in Florida Online may be able to prepare the required divorce documents for you.
We have helped Florida families prepare divorce documents for more than 15 years. We are non-attorney document preparers and do not provide legal advice or represent either parent.
No office visit is needed.
Tell us a little about your situation and we’ll determine whether one of our document-preparation processes may fit.
Tell Us About Your SituationFrequently Asked Questions About Co-Parenting After Divorce
Do divorced parents have to be friends to co-parent successfully?
No. Parents do not have to become friends. Practical co-parenting can simply mean communicating appropriately about the children, following the parenting plan and keeping the children out of adult disputes.
Should we use our child to pass messages between homes?
Whenever reasonably possible, parents should communicate directly rather than making the child responsible for carrying adult messages. The American Academy of Pediatrics specifically recommends avoiding putting children in the middle in this way.
Do both homes need exactly the same rules?
No. Two households will naturally have differences. Predictable routines and reasonable consistency around important expectations can help children know what to expect, but the homes do not have to operate identically.
What should divorced parents communicate about?
Important communication may include school, healthcare, activities, schedule changes, transportation and other information required by the parenting plan or reasonably necessary for caring for the child.
What if my child doesn’t want to go to the other parent’s house?
A child’s feelings should be taken seriously, but a court-ordered time-sharing schedule should not simply be changed based on general online information. Safety concerns or questions about changing a parenting plan may require advice from a licensed Florida family-law attorney.
What if my child is having a hard time adjusting to the divorce?
Children respond differently to separation and divorce. If changes in your child’s mood, behavior, sleep, school performance or emotional well-being concern you, consider discussing them with the child’s pediatrician or another appropriate qualified professional.
Watch: Co-Parenting After Divorce
Sources Used for This Guide
- American Academy of Pediatrics – Divorce and Separation: How to Help Your Child Adjust
- American Academy of Pediatrics – How to Support Children After Their Parents Separate or Divorce
- Florida Statute §61.13 – Parenting Plans and Time-Sharing
- Florida Statute §61.125 – Parenting Coordination
Legal Disclaimer
Disclaimer: The information on this website is provided for general informational and educational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice. Divorce in Florida Online is not a law firm, and no attorney-client relationship is created by the use of this website or its content. We do not provide legal advice or legal representation. Laws and procedures vary by case and may change over time. For legal advice regarding your individual circumstances, you should consult with a qualified, licensed attorney.