So I floated the post-nup idea . . .
It was immediately shot down. Her statement was it was evidence that I thought the marriage was doomed and she wouldn’t agree to it.
I explained that we are working towards retiring early and if we got divorced just before I pulled the trigger, then I am re-yoked onto the work based serfdom if she asked for lifetime alimony.
From her perspective, I am in effect planning to mitigate a potential disaster if things ends. But she completely ignores the “if” and goes straight to when. We never did get a chance to discuss any of the scenarios.
That leaves me with a choice. Either I pull the trigger in the near term or I take my chances that the marriage will stand up (or wait a few years and get hammered). She wants me to ignore a chance at financial devastation.
I guess I get that she couldn’t be rational in discussing things (I have a NW of almost $3M, she will be more than fine), just sucks that the burden is placed back on me, because she won’t waive lifetime alimony now and accept a negotiated period for alimony.
I guess a third choice would be to downgrade my job
Just get it over with and give her a divorce. You need to look out for yourself, not for her if it’s already getting to this point.
You’re probably right. Just painful when you see all the evidence that kids from in-tack families are much stronger. She is not a total monster (just part-time), and I think we could work past it, but if she holds this $1M hammer then I am in a tough spot.
I used to joke with her early in the marriage that she could drop the act and reveal she was really an heiress. The fact of the matter is now she is one, I built it.
Any woman who shoots down a post-nup won’t be very concerned about intact families.
Things NEVER improve. They stay the same or deteriorate once someone gets comfortable OR gets in a situation where their risks have been removed. Marriage will do that.
Parents that should have divorced long ago but stay together “for the kids” is a fucking nightmare.
I’ve been on both sides, my family growing was dysfunctional but intact and I wouldn’t wish that hell on my children nor yours.
The kids will feel your happiness and sadness whether you’re divorced or married or whatever.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/pnhttm/so_i_floated_the_postnup_idea/
Other Related Pages:
Divorce with Children by summons