Inspiration

The letter I will never write…

man walking forward after a divorce

Posted on Reddit by u/Phast_n_Phurious

I don’t know where to start. For 15 years, I have had the best times in my life with you. I moved across the country as a teenager with you, started a family with you, set down roots with you, traveled with you, brought you back to your hometown and now, I’m left with a year of lies. You lied when you said forever, you lied when you said I could make a difference. You lied when you said I was your rock. You lied when you said I was the only one.

I was the only income for 14 out of those 15 years. I taught you how to drive. I encouraged you to go to school. I tried to take everything off your plate that I could because it’s what I wanted in return. I wanted a sane family and that seems to be the only bit of solace that I can get (considering your family still talks to me and checks in on me). It’s difficult as I raise the kids as a single father and I wonder whether your family genuinely wants to see me because of the part I played in the family or if I’m just an avenue to see the kids. I now question everything I’ve learned in my adult life.

You took me from the family I was born with, my hometown. Both have grown into different things without me. To this, I feel robbed. My life, that was without you, has been stolen. I am not the same person that I was even a year ago when this all started, much less even close to the same as when I left home. I am now overly responsible, I take no risk and as such, get no reward. Meanwhile, you’re rewarded with having zero responsibility as you don’t work, don’t pay rent and live life by the seat of your pants.

I’m genuinely glad you’re happy, though I didn’t wish it came at the expense of excommunication with me and your lack of priority to talk with your now teenage children.

I know you’re gonna tell me it’s hard for you too, but that is the life you chose.

I know I will find the road again, this time maybe with someone else riding shotgun. The life I wanted you to have was the one I wanted for myself. But like you said, “fairy tales aren’t real”.

I cannot explain the hurt and confusion I’ve felt in the last year, but I can say that I wish no one else had to go through it. I love who you were, I now love the idea of who you were. Unfortunately, I cannot say in true faith that I love you for you as you are now.

So go and “live your best life”. It’s only come at the cost of trust issues in 3 other lives that used to be close to you…

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