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valentines day for singles

What I am NOT getting this Valentine’s day

This Valentine’s day I am NOT getting ignored. I am not getting belittled I am not getting unappreciated I am not getting disappointed I am not getting the feeling that I am unworthy I am not getting sad that he doesn’t love me

This Valentine’s day I AM getting my self worth, I am getting my independence I am getting to rediscover myself I am getting peace of mind I am getting a future with unlimited possibilities I am getting happy that I love who I am.

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Hope all of you can see what you are and are not getting in a positive way this Valentine’s day

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Marriage is Over but she does not know it 1

Marriage is Over but she does not know it

For the last 1.5 years, I’ve been done with her. Our marriage has been nothing but rough patches, and as a young man from a rough family, I didn’t realize that this wasn’t normal. 

Her and I married at 20 and 19 respectively, and ever since we’ve thought about marriage together, it’s been a bad idea. We aren’t right for each other, but my desire at the time for any tiny bit of attention and love from a woman didn’t allow me to see that.
At that time, I had been beaten downs and broken by my mother. She is a horrible woman who I’ve recently come to know that she will not be receiving any more attention from me. This is now a reality.

The reasons why I’ll leave to a later post, but just know that they are enough to warrant “no contact”. No contacting me, my STBXW, or our son. 

Anyway, to give you a perspective on the woman I married, I’ll tell you this. Our first night as husband and wife, I told her that I can’t sleep all that well with a fan on (white noise at night bothers me). She started crying and getting upset with me, yelling about how I don’t care about her and how she feels.
I understand that it was an emotional am day for her, so I tried to ease the situation and help her slow things down. ‘take a breath; where is this coming from?’ that sort of thing.
Mid conversation, I sat down and took my pants off to get into bed and continue talking, to which she yelled “See! You don’t fucking care at all!” I was beamed in the back of the head with the wedding ring I had placed on her finger not 6 hours prior. 

Now, if I had known then what I do now, I would have had the marriage annulled the next day. Instead, I was busy making her breakfast to apologize to her for what had happened the night before.
Only now realizing what a fucking weak bitch I was to have gotten up out of bed, and made the woman who had hollared at me for an hour the night before and biffed her wedding ring at my head, over not wanting a fan on at night, breakfast.

This is my biggest reason for leaving my wife, as it has set the precedent for the last 6 years of our marriage. I cannot do this shit for the rest of my life. It is soul crushing.

I would be ashamed to give my son advice in the future about women, when I am married to one who treats me like this.
It would hold no weight in his mind, and he could go down a terrible path without better role models. That, is my responsibility to him.

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I Can’t Stop Crying 2

I Can’t Stop Crying

This has been a tearful 24 hours.

She has made it apparent she is ready to file. I am not going say I am blameless, I did some stupid things along the way (e.g. sign up for a sugar daddy site, which she found out about, but I have been always faithful to my wife.)

She says that was the last straw, although she also admitted she had been planning and thinking about divorce for 6 months now.

She has talked to lawyers and figured out exactly what she wants to do. This to me was a shock, she has been thinking about it for so long and in so much detail.

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She says she wants to mediate, draw up a separation plan and amicably split up.
Sell our SFH and move into separate homes. Jointly share custody of our two kids. Part of me says, that makes sense. BUT, most of me screams, this is INSANE!

We shouldn’t be breaking up our family this easily, without fighting to preserve it. Giving counselling another chance and try to reconcile.

I can’t stand the thought of having a broken home and family.. and putting stress on my 2 and 5 year old. I have been begging her to give counselling a shot, but she won’t listen.

wtf happened to the man I used to be

Sitting in a parking lot wondering wtf happened to the man I used to be

I’ve been 99.9% sure my wife has been doing something behind my back for the entirety of our marriage.

Things like the same phone number under different contact names in her phone to an unexplained hotel visit on her banking statement to a birthday card that I confirmed with the company was printed in our marriage years.

There’s a lot of context there that I’m glossing over but you get the general idea.

I’m so depressed and frustrated and don’t see an end because I can’t make the move.

Im too weak I guess and keep looking for excuses.

I keep telling myself that theres gonna be an aha moment where I can shove it up her ass in divorce court and it hasn’t happened.

We had a big blowup last year and she started crying and begging me to not go and I stayed. For awhile things changed but it’s now reverted back and I can’t make myself walk away.

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This is gonna sound silly and foolish and probably cowardly but I don’t want to see her cry like that again. I don’t want to hurt her again like that. I can’t stop setting myself on fire to keep others warm and it’s killing me.

I know what I need to do but I can’t make it happen. I wish I had a time machine.

I’d go back and never even send the first message. I feel like a failure and wonder why I even go on anymore.

I just needed to post this because I’m too ashamed of myself to tell my friends and family or anyone else.

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If it violates rules I apologize.

I won’t argue about talking it down if it does. I just needed to tell someone. Thank you for allowing me to post.

Never Loved Me? 3

Never Loved Me?

My wife was the sweetest person I ever met. Never drank alcohol, never cussed just a sweet innocent girl.

She came from a childhood of abandonment and extreme sexual abuse. About 2 years ago she switched jobs and began hanging out with some single and recently divorced women she works with.

At the same time her dad made contact for the first time ever. In the last year this guy who left her as a baby is her best friend. They talk hours a day with one another.

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Now she curses like a sailor, She has also developed a drinking problem. She now drinks about 10-12 oz of vodka and rum per night and all she wants to do is go out with her friends.

When she’s not with her Friends she is on Snapchat with them.

When I say she’s On Snapchat it’s constant txting from time she gets home til she falls asleep with the phone in her hand.

Me and my small child have basically been alone even though she lives with us. It’s wearing me out cause I do everything.

We really never fuss and get along but she does get very angry if I say anything about her drinking. 

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Well the other day she surprised me and said she didn’t love me, didn’t think she has ever loved me and was moving out and already signed a year lease for a house.

Nothing would change her mind. 

Honestly I’m worried about the child but I have about had it with her. Suggested counseling and arranged it and she agreed.

She canceled the day before and said she just wanted a divorce. Don’t guess there’s much I can do.

Besides appearance this is someone I don’t even know.
Nothing resembles the person she was just a year ago. We were always so happy as a family. 

Anyone seen this? What happened? I assume she met someone while out. Who knows.

I miss Us But I Don’t Miss You 4

I miss Us But I Don’t Miss You

To my wife,

I miss us but I dont miss you. You wanted a divorce three months ago, left the house 1 month ago.

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As time goes by I’ll see that it was the right decision but I miss us.

I dont miss your BPD tendencies that drove a wedge between us. I’m proud of you for all the work you did to not be like your mom who has BPD but she instilled many tendencies on you that made it hard to communicate my love with you: the fear of abandonment, extreme jealousy, seeing things only as black or white, and your impulses.

I see now that I became codependent as our relationship went on.

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My low self-esteem, controlling behavior, being too afraid to speak up, and erasing my needs to take care of you, the house, and the kids to make things easier for you.

I should have set better boundaries and I apologize I couldnt be a better husband in this aspect.

I will always love who you were before the present and i wish i could’ve been more consistently emotionally present for you but in the end i did the best i could with the tools I had and I feel the ending would’ve been the same no matter who I was because I see I will never be good enough for you but I can be good enough for myself.

VA Divorce

Well my holiday didnt go as planned, instead of gifts this year it was divorce papers on the 28th.

I am an army combat veteran and have been in bad situations but this was heart stopping and I felt like being stabbed in the back.

Our relationship (10 yrs together 7 married) had seemed pretty good we have a 4 year old boy a dog a nice little house in a nice little neighborhood.

I started an apprenticeship 3 yrs ago and have 1 more year to go till I become a journeyman and I think I was devoting to much of myself to my job (it is competitive) and I started forgetting the small things like saying I love you when getting home from work and hugging and our sex life was hurting but I had asked for 1 more year to get out of my apprenticeship and devote more time to my family and to her but it was not to be I guess.

About a week after getting served I went out to my car( after having a bad conversation with my wife) and was going to shoot myself, luckily I looked up and saw my son waving at me from the window and smiling so I stopped what I was doing and went back inside and hugged him the next day I had more dark thoughts and some family came over and I went to the V.A. mental health clinic where luckly I got the help and medication I need to function and help keep the bad thoughts away.

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I moved in with my parents so they could keep an eye on me gave all my guns to my uncle for a while and I am doing okay still very sad and lost luckly my thoughts dont go to suicide but every time I tellmy wife my emotions my willingness to become a better father and husband to change what I was is met with a black face and no answer

I’m trying to pull myself together but it is hard, for other veterans maybe going thru this here is a number to call 1-800-273-8255 it’s the veterans crisis line for vets and their families I hope it helps

How do you Survive Divorce?

posted by Anonymous

How do you survive divorce?
December 4, I found out my husband was having an affair, everything, sexting this woman, sleeping with her, everything.

I was 38 weeks pregnant with our third child at the time. I went into labor that night. My beautiful baby was born in the evening December 6.
Since that time I’ve been working on our marriage, trying to meet his concerns.

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He said he wasn’t in contact with the woman anymore. Well I’ve found out he continued to call and text her after 12/4, until I finally blocker her number through Verizon on 12/15.

My husband says he was trying to tell her their relationship was over. He was on the phone for 71 minutes with her while I was in the hospital with our son. He called her an hour after Elijah was born.

He called and texted her multiple time per day everyday. I didn’t believe his excuse but he had done things I asked him to do (deleting snapchat, blocking her on social media, going to get tested for STDs etc)
For obvious reasons, I didn’t trust him. So I put a hum (from Verizon) on his car. This way I could see where he was driving.

This morning he stopped at her house. He only stayed a minute then left. Called me after he left and lied to me about where he was. I could see GPS real time his location and be lied.

I haven’t confronted him about stopping at her house yet. I’m trying to wait till go to couples counseling tomorrow.
But I’m 90% sure this is going to end in a divorce. And I don’t know how I’m going to survive.

I have a 4 yr old, 2 yr old and a 7 week old baby. I’m a stay at home mom with little support form family. Basically just my mother in law and step mom to help with the kids.

I don’t know how to get through this 😭

Father Fighting for Full Custody 5

Father Fighting for Full Custody

Posted by: Anonymous

This is really hard for me to seek help but I know this would be the group to do it in!

So about a year ago I separated from my ex husband and He’s a veteran. He met this now gf in July and moved in with her in November and since then it’s been hell. Finally got the divorce papers that came with a parenting plan and he’s fighting for full custody of our four kids despite them living with me and me being that one that have taken care of them all their lives (he was around but I was the more “present” parent)

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I only have a few days to object to this plan otherwise it will go into play according to the paper work.

I’m clueless at this point on who to talk to or what to do or if I should get a lawyer (which is another issue because newly single mom of four my income is limited and he doesn’t help out at all) can anyone point me in the right direction please?

I would greatly appreciate it!

financial irresponsible husband

Financial Irresponsible Husband


This season in mine and my husband’s life has been so hard.. and by season I mean the last 3 years.

He is financially irresponsible and spends his money like an 18 year old.

I am working a full time and a part time job to support our family of 5 (and I’m so exhausted) He works full time in a new position so he had to start out at the bottom.

I’m not mad at him for making a career change at all. I’m proud of him.

However, his income has been cut in half and he now pays all of his bills late, his credit cards are maxed but he still finds the money to pay for all of his hobbies.

He’s driving my vehicle because his isn’t drivable and his credit score is too low to finance a new one.

I financed our house by myself and he complains about what a “dump” it is all the time. I’ve offered many times to help him come up with a plan to get himself out of his slump but he refuses and gets so angry with me when I bring it up.

He is under this illusion that I’m trying to control him. I had to finance a new AC, I pay my car payment for the car he also drives, groceries and I also pay our electric and cell phone bill. He pays half the mortgage and water bill and that’s it.

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I am SO frustrated that I’m having to kill myself working 2 jobs (one as a full time teacher) and he gets so angry at me for trying to get him to be better with his money. There are a hundred more problems we have in our marriage but I swear they would all go away if I could see that he was willing to AT THE VERY least take care of himself. This has created so much tension in our house and just when I feel like I can let it go, I see he’s done something ridiculous again.

For example, he’s in a bowling league and goes out for drinks and appetizers every Thursday before bowling ($50 a week). He’s in tons of Fantasy sports leagues, and he blows about $50 every weekend on beer and snacks for when he watches football every weekend.

Don’t get me wrong, no one should give up everything that brings them a little bit of joy but how can he watch his wife kill herself trying to provide for him AND his children while his life hasn’t changed at all? 😔